A Lost Love
by Alma Sol
Summary: [OneShot] [SongFic] There’s only so much one female can take and Videl has taken more than she can handle. She suddenly finds that Gohan is permanently gone from her life and all she has to console her is a gift that will change her life forever…


Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any counterparts to it. I own only this plot and a few merchandise items. I also don't own the rights to _My Immortal_, those lyrics belong to Evanescence.

A Lost Love

_My Immortal_ by Evanescence

My immortal  
I'm so tired of being here  
suppressed by all of my childish fears  
and if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
because your presence still lingers here  
and it won't leave me alone

* * *

She drew in a shaky breath and tentatively placed her hand onto her abdomen. 'This can't be happening. No…' she thought depressed. Memories of the sweet kisses he used to give her, all of the times she cried for him, and all of the times he wiped those tears away and held her. 'I thought the pain was over… I thought I could get over this. Damn you!'

"Miss? Miss, are you okay?" the nurse over the phone attempted to comfort the crestfallen young woman.

Trembling, she asked back quietly, "You're absolutely sure. No mistake."

"None whatsoever. It's been long enough that you should've already started to come here for regular check-ups. We're positive that you're pregnant," she said happily, oblivious to the devastation she was wreaking upon the other woman's weak mind.

Angrily, she slammed the receiver down as tears poured down her face. There would be no way he could be there for her now. 'Why does it seem that every time I pick up the phone, all I get is more bad news?' she questioned while reflecting back a couple months ago.

* * *

These wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase

* * *

The receiver fell from her shaking hand and crashed into pieces on the tile floor. Stunned, her body fell back and hit the wall causing her to slump to the ground. In that one moment, her heart ceased beating and died from anguish.

* * *

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
and I've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me

* * *

Drops of salty water ran across his cheeks as he drew forth foreboding memories of his past. She kissed him on his forehead and pulled him into her embrace as he described all the times he went insane with pain and anger, screaming at the world to bring his father back, screaming at the evil monster who caused him to kill someone dear to him. She held him while he released all of his pent up emotions, just like he had done for her so many times. Whispering words of calm, she promised to be at his side now and forever. Even in death.

* * *

You used to captivate me  
by your resonating light  
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

* * *

Exhausted, she pulled the covers of the large king sized bed over her shoulders. The bed that still lingered of his scent. Blocking her heart's heave that threatened her to start crying again, she drowned herself in memories.

Almost immediately thoughts of the first time he showed her what he looked like as a Super Sayian invaded her mind. She remembered being awed as he sat in front of her, completely calm, almost expectant, as she reveled in the golden light he gave off. He entranced her with his turquoise eyes and gravity defying hair that grew each time he moved up a level.

On the verge of tears, she pushed away one of the many memories that haunted her and focused on the only thing he left her with besides his love… her child. No, their child. Subconsciously, she wrapped her arms around her middle once more. _He left me with a child, a gift of his love. What will I tell her? Her father died saving the world?_ _That is, if it even is a girl. My child will be so angry, as angry as I am. I begged him so many times not to go out there. Each time all he did was tell me that someone had to protect the world, despite my pleads that I only cared about him._ Once more she sobbed herself to sleep, taunting dreams of him plaguing her as always.

* * *

These wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase

* * *

Clad in black, she ignored the many people who tried to console her as she walked towards the marble urn. She ran a finger along the delicate designs and black swirls. Turning her attention to the red roses and white lilies that surrounded the mounted vase, she watched horrified as her mind's imagination caused the flowers to look like they were bleeding profusely.

In a matter of seconds, her conscious was overwhelmed with the grim presence of her love, making her sprint in black heels to the courtyard. Maybe there she could escape him… It was all too much and she collapsed onto the first thing she saw, a stone bench. Not more than half a minute later, the only person she would talk to came to her side. The loving mother allowed the raven-haired girl to let her pain gush out.

"It's not fair! Why couldn't we bring him back? Just one more time…" She turned her near black eyes up to her only savior.

"I know, sweetheart. I know it's not fair. But he died twice before and there's no way to have him come back. He insisted on staying, you know that," she shushed the blundering girl and held her like a young child. "I'm afraid that it will never go away, Videl. He left you with a gift, and you should appreciate it. You must start thinking of the memories as good, to make sure you never forget him. Don't make them drag you down. I can't bear to lose another."

Goku, Bulma, and Vegeta stood solemnly in the doorway with Goten sitting on the stairs at their feet. All of them had attempted at one point or another to help Videl, but they all had been blamed with not trying to keep Gohan from his death. Even young Goten could not cheer her up but only reminded her of the fun she and the late Son had had when they babysat him. Chi Chi was the only one who could help, because she tried just as hard as Videl to persuade him to not fight. They stood there watching helplessly as Videl continued to destroy herself.

* * *

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
and I've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me

* * *

Her ebony hair blew with the breeze as his ashes were scattered to the winds by the priest. She stared as everyone else slowly smiled as they let their anguish be swept away with his ashes. Even Chi Chi managed to get her last sob out. Sadly, she wondered how much longer she could endure her depression.

Letting everyone leave her behind, she slowly let herself welcome the reminiscences. She felt the crying begin, but this time it was different. This time, she cried in happiness. She cried for the times they had, the good and the bad. She cried for all the memories he left her with, ones she would eventually hand on to their daughter. She cried for him, for everything he had to go through, and the fact that he still was by her side.

She smiled for the first time in the past few months. It was no longer forced, no longer unwanted. Laughing in joy, she spun around in the field. The wind swirled around her, lifting her spirits. She danced in ecstasy, delighted that she had finally broke her depression.

* * *

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
and though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along

* * *

She smiled, gazing down at the healthy baby girl in her arms. Cradling the now sleeping child, she looked up at the people surrounding her bed. Goku and Goten were giving her the famous grin that she remembered so well on Gohan's face. Bulma was glaring at Vegeta who was busier looking out the window. Chi Chi squeezed her hand and cooed over her grandchild. This was her family. This was Gohan's family. And now this was her daughter, Pan's, family.

Something grazed her heart, and her eyes began to water from it. He was here with her to see his newborn child. Her heart fluttered just knowing that he was near. But even though he was with her and always was with her, she was still alone. She always had been and always would be… and she felt that she knew it from the first day she stepped into his arms. He belonged to the world and pride and heroics. She was just lucky enough to get all of what was left of him to offer.

They loved each other, through and through, and that would have to be enough for her, because that was all he was allowed to give. Amazingly, she was perfectly fine with that.


End file.
